Your Child is Crying. Here is the First Thing You Should Do.
You knew your baby was going to cry.
But I'm going to guess you had no idea that your insides were capable of causing you to doubt every decision, every impulse, and every move you made when put up against the reality that your child is CRYYYYYYYING!
It is so odd when you feel the pull. The reflexes say, fix it! She needs you! Your mind starts running through the list of all the things that could be wrong. And your heart starts to pump a bit faster because your anatomy is linked to this little darling.
And in case you didn't read that last part - Your insides are linked to this little darling.
Is it pheromones, or pulse rhythms, or the tense rise of one's shoulders, but your responses make a huge difference in the way your child will view the world.
Are you rushing over, quickly picking up your babe, and immediately jiggling them up and down? Don't you feel ready to fix it?!
You can change a diaper.
You can reinsert a pacifier.
You can get them food, and you can help with gas.
You can distract them will rattles and crinkly books, and you can sit on that exercise ball all day and bounce them over and over and over if that is what it takes.
But do yourself a favor, do these things:
1. Take a breath. You have got to breathe. You are starving for more calm. You are on the edge of your seat every second of the day, and it's suffocating you. So breathe. Nice and deep. In through your nose and out through your nose. Close your eyes if you need to. Put your shoulders down, while you're at it. They are doing you no good scrunched up there by your ears.
2. Remember that you are not here to fix everything. Yes, you can run through the checklist of all the reasons and seasons of why babies cry and try to help soothe them. But also remember that you are your child's safe place to land, and you are helping them, one day at a time, to know that the would isn't perfect, but they can always come home.
Right now, home looks like a close cuddle after a 20-minute nap that you wish was more like 2 hours.
But it's the start.
You are the start of the end of this hard moment for your child.